A Young Man Will be Buried Today

Trigger warning: This post deals with the suicide of a young man. It is real. It is raw. It happened.

Jordan1995 - 2016

A young man will be buried today. He was 22 years old, and he was convinced he would be missed by no one if he ceased to exist. He was wrong.

I didn’t know Jordan well. He was a friend of my youngest daughter, and I can count on one hand the number of times I met him. His impact on my life was profound nonetheless. Time and again, I counselled my daughter in how to handle his moods, what to say to combat the hurt and anger that devoured him from the inside. She tried to save him. Oh, how she tried. She loved him when he didn’t want to be loved. She kept the lines of communication open when he tried his hardest to push her away. She tried and tried…and tried…to convince him to seek help. Once, we even called that help for him, but he talked his way out of it and didn’t speak to my daughter for weeks afterward. And yet she was still there for him when he returned to her.

The truth is, Jordan’s wounds were deep and profound. Too much so for any one person to be able to heal them. Awful, awful things had happened to him as a child and as a teen, and the people who should have been there for him weren’t. The ones who should have cared most didn’t. He was abused, he was bullied, and he was abandoned both physically and emotionally. At the age of 22, he had lost his capacity for trust, his ability to love or be loved, and his desire to recover.

The beginning of Jordan’s end came earlier this year, when he had to leave school and move home. His communications with his friends became increasingly angry and ever more despondent, he rejected all suggestion of help, and, systematically, he began to push everyone away. Love him as they might, no one could stop his downward spiral. Not my daughter, not any of his other friends, and ultimately, not Jordan.

And so a young man will be buried today, and my heart aches at the thought of the child who lived—and died—in such pain and despair. I hope he’s found a modicum of peace, and most of all, I hope he knows now that he will be missed.


If you are thinking of harming yourself…if you think no one will miss you…if you think you don’t matter…STOP. Please. There are people who can help if you’ll let them. There are people who care, even if you’ve never met them. I’m one of those people. I care. So please, please, please reach out for help. Call your local crisis line, call a friend, call your doctor…call someone and ask for help. Let Jordan’s loss give you life. Please.



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8 responses to “A Young Man Will be Buried Today”

  1. Sarah Raposo Avatar

    I don’t have a lot to add to this, but I feel for both you and your daughter. It’s painful to read these kinds of stories where good people like your daughter try to reach out to those who are hurting and ultimately cannot give enough for the person hurting. I had more friends in high school and college who might have ended up like Jordan if people like your daughter hadn’t been there for them.

    There is a growing problem of troubled individuals, especially kids and young adults, and it’s just painful to watch. Still, its something that shouldn’t be ignored and I thank you for making this post.

    1. Linda Avatar

      Thank you for reading, Sarah. And I’m glad your friends fared better than Jordan. <3

  2. Elizabeth Haney Avatar

    What a powerful story. Thank you for sharing and being an advocate for Jordan. I’m so glad that he had your family pulling for him and loving him. Unfortunately, we can’t save everyone who’s hurting or in pain. Just know your efforts were not in vain. His memory will live on. And I hope that Jordan has finally found peace.

    1. Linda Avatar

      No, we can’t save everyone, Elizabeth…but perhaps Jordan’s story will help someone reach out in their own time of need. And yes, I hope he’s found peace, too.

  3. Lorraine Young Avatar
    Lorraine Young

    Please give my sympathies to your daughter, she sounds like a very strong and giving person.

    1. Linda Avatar

      She is, Lorraine…and I will. Thank you.

  4. Mickey Nazarov Avatar
    Mickey Nazarov

    My wifes cousin just buried his 48 year old daughter who too was having depression problems. The feeling within the family too, was and is “perhaps if I said this or done that or suggested to her this would not happen. Blames themselevs thinking they could have helped.

    1. Linda Avatar

      My heart goes out to your cousin and family, Mickey. 🙁

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