The Rabbit Wars

I am at war and this is my enemy:

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Wait! Before you go ‘awwww‘, don’t be fooled by the apparent cute, fluffy innocence. Trust me, this is a monster in disguise, wreaking havoc on the innocent and leaving destruction and ruin in its wake.

No, seriously. What, you don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Day One: the first signs of invasion. Two cabbage plants decapitated and incapable of further growth. Like you, I laugh off the attack, thinking it random and rather funny.

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Day Two: All six cabbage plants have been decimated…

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…along with two Swiss chard.

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These, fortunately, will grow back, but the cabbage will need to be replaced. I decide to employ a diversion tactic that I have successfully used in past: bananas. One banana per night, peeled and left in the garden, to satisfy the enemy’s hunger. Kind of like leaving a virgin tied to a post so the dragon will leave the village alone. I make a trip to the grocery store. I buy bananas. I even get the organic ones because I’m still buying into the ‘cute’ thing and I’m concerned about the bunny’s health. And yes, my husband is still laughing.

Day Three: Come morning, the virgin banana is gone. So is the better part of two kale plants.

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I resort to fortification and spend an hour securing floating row covers over the vulnerable villagers crops. The fabric seems flimsy, but I’m hoping the monster will be deterred nonetheless.

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Day Four: Success! The fortifications remain intact and the crops they shelter, safe. But wait. The pea shoots look a little…short. As if someone walked along the row and neatly decapitated them.

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All of them.

Each. And. Every. One.

The rotten little [insert unprintable descriptive words here].

Today, in preparation for Day 5 of the Rabbit Wars, I’m going to a Lee Valley store to buy this, a motion-activated sprinkler:

 

The enemy may have won the battles so far, but I’m determined to win the war. Stay tuned for updates from the frontlines! 😉


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Comments

12 responses to “The Rabbit Wars”

  1. Tobi H Avatar

    OMG! That evil bunny! Hope your sprinkler works!

  2. Sabrina Avatar

    Linda — we have critters too, and have contemplated the motion-activated sprinkler. Please, I beg you, help out your fellow gardeners and let us know in a follow-up post if it works!!

  3. Reanna Avatar

    Oh my god I love this post…but I’m sorry you’re at war 🙁 *crosses fingers* I hope the sprinkler works!

  4. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    Thanks, everyone! Didn’t get out for the sprinkler yesterday, but it’s on today’s agenda…and I lucked out last night with heavy thunderstorms keeping the culprit at bay. 😉

    1. Sabrina Avatar

      Not sure if this will be of help to others, but it has worked well for me. I save my cat’s hair when I brush him, and then tuck it in amongst the veggies planted in the garden. Seems to keep the marauding squirrels away.

      1. Linda Avatar
        Linda

        I’ve heard that idea, too, Sabrina, but I don’t think it’s going to help much in this case — we have a very large dog whose hair is all over the yard (and the house…and the car…and me…*sigh*) and it doesn’t seem to have deterred this particular bunny.

  5. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    Linda – that is hilarious – we don’t have bunny problems because Jasmine (my beautiful, talented cat) chases them away. She chased one about a month ago – I have never seen her run so fast! Would you like to borrow her? She would prefer fish or chicken over bananas 😀

    1. Linda Avatar
      Linda

      I’m sure Charlie would chase them away, too, but he’s too much of a wuss to spend the night outside…alone…in the dark…where there are BUGS!!! Yes, seriously. 😛

  6. Paula Cowan Avatar

    I’m impressed that you’re minding the bunny’s nutrition before you soak him to the skin.

    1. Linda Avatar
      Linda

      …which is why my husband is still laughing…

  7. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Let us know please!!! We’ve lost cucumbers and tomatoes; and they don’t even eat the whole thing, just enough to destroy…

  8. Michele Avatar
    Michele

    We used to have a dog that would tip-toe (as well as any golden retriever can) into the garden, nibble the broccoli down to nothing, chew pea pods down to the stem, and help herself to the strawberries. AND she loved sprinklers…
    Good luck on your adventure! 🙂

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