The fact that I should have posted this yesterday probably gives you a hint about how well I managed to stick to last week’s goals, right? Even with my pared-down expectations, I fell short of what I thought I could achieve. I suppose I could feel disappointed with myself, but the truth is, my ‘failure’ has underscored what I had kind of suspected…I am very near burning out at the moment. While the past year certainly had its highs (did I mention that I had a book published? 😀 ), it also had some pretty intense lows…and no small number of bumps in between. In short, 2011 was one hell of a roller coaster ride and, friends, I’m pooped. Toast. Emotionally, mentally, and physically wiped. Which explains why I’ve gone from needing 6 hours of sleep a night to needing 9…plus a nap. And why I’ve managed to take the art of procrastination to a whole new level.
What I really need is a nice long vacation somewhere warm. 🙂 Because that’s not an option, however, here’s what I’m going to do. (No, all is not lost because yes, I have a plan.) For the remainder of the month of January, I’m going to maintain the same five goals, all centered around refilling my very empty tank.
1. Minimal house maintenance. If my house isn’t considered a health hazard for the next two weeks, that’s good enough for me.
2. No writing expectations and no thinking about writing. The reason I’ve been stuck on where to begin book 3 in The Grigori Legacy is because I’ve been overthinking the story. The obvious (and only) solution is to hand the matter back over to my subconscious for a couple of weeks and let it solve the problem.
3. Lots of guilt-free solitary time. I’m no good to others when I’m like this, so I’m recognizing the need to take some ‘me time.’ You’ll note the emphasis on the guilt-free part. 😉
4. Letting go of the past. Yes, 2011 was an interesting year. No, it wasn’t all good. Yes, I feel a little bruised and over-sensitive right now. But that’s all behind me and more importantly (and I truly believe this), it all happened for a reason. I’m going to take an objective look back and see what those reasons were. What the lessons might have been. What good came out of what seemed not-so-pleasant at the time. And then, I’m going to be thankful for those lessons (and for surviving!) and I’m going to Let. It. Go.
5. Embracing the future. I believe we attract the same energy we put out into the universe: expect bad things and that’s what you’ll get; look for the good and chances are, it will find you. Sometimes, when too many things come at me all at once and I go into what I call ‘survival mode,” I forget this. I’ve become locked into a defensive stance, trying to protect myself from anything else that might go wrong. A part of what I let go will be this defensiveness. I’m going to work on uncrossing my arms, straightening my shoulders, and lifting my head. There are good things ahead in 2012, and I want to be ready to embrace them with open arms, open mind, and open heart.
So there you have it, my friends. My revised list of goals for the remainder of January, focusing on the really important stuff that will ultimately let me be much, much better at all the rest of what needs to be done. Anyone care to join me? 😉