A Conversation With My Muse…

Muse (peering over my shoulder): Hmm…

Me: What, hmm? What’s wrong?

Muse: I just don’t…I’m not sure…

Me (re-reading computer screen): What aren’t you sure about? This was your idea.

Muse (leaning elbows on desk and tapping a finger against her lip): Well…not really. I suggested he should do this — (points at top of screen) — but not that. (Shakes her head) Nope. He’s not happy with that.

Me: Well, what would he be happy with, then? I could change–

Muse: That wouldn’t work.

Me: I haven’t said what I’d do yet!

Muse: I know, but it still wouldn’t work. Is there any coffee left? (peeks into the empty mug at my elbow) I think I need another coffee. You know, to inspire me. And maybe a cookie. I feel faint from lack of food.

Me: There are no cookies, and it’s too late in the day for coffee. I won’t sleep tonight if we have coffee now.

Muse: Ohhh…well, how about tea? Tea would be nice. And maybe we could make cookies. Chocolate chip ones. Or oatmeal raisin. We haven’t had oatmeal raisin cookies in forever.

Me: No. No cookies. Can we just get back to the story for a minute, please? I’m nowhere near my word count for the day.

Muse: And whose fault is that? If you’d just take my advice once in a while…

Me: I did take your advice! That’s why I wrote this! (I jab my finger at the computer screen)

Muse (looking hurt): You’re yelling at me. You know I can’t work if you yell at me. Why are you always so mean? Other writers are nice to their muses, you know. (sniffs) I think I need to hug the kitten.

Me: I’m not yelling, I’m being emphatic. And the kitten is sleeping somewhere.

Muse (yawning): Lucky kitten. Maybe that’s what I need instead of coffee. A nap.

Me (through gritted teeth): Can…we…please…just finish this scene.

Muse: Was that a question? It didn’t sound like a question. Are you being mean to me again?

Me: (deep breath) I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be mean. Maybe if you just try to explain why he wouldn’t do this…

Muse (sighing heavily): Fine. (rereads computer screen) Oh. Huh. How about that.

Me: Now what?

Muse: Nothing. It’s fine the way it is.

Me: What? But you said–

Muse: I was wrong. I must have misread it.

Me: Seriously?!? We had an entire argument about something that wasn’t even wrong? And how could you misread something that was your idea in the first place?

Muse: It’s probably because you’re starving me.

Me (letting my head drop onto the keyboard): You’re not giving up the cookie thing, are you?

Muse (smugly): Not a chance, lady.




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5 responses to “A Conversation With My Muse…”

  1. Bea @Bea's Book Nook Avatar

    LMAO You are so mean to your muse! 😀

    1. Louisa Bacio Avatar

      Hilarious. The muse wants what the muse wants!

      1. Linda Avatar

        The muse is awfully demanding. 😛

  2. Reanna Avatar

    LOL Quit starving the muse! 😉

    1. Linda Avatar

      She needs to perform better than that if I’m expected to bake cookies!!! 😉

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